I was talking to my wonderful massage therapist the other day about energy vampires–the clients who exhaust everyone, not only with their complaining and negative attitudes, but with their very presence. I wondered if this was an occupational hazard, if only because most clients want massage either to relieve stress or pain, and biofields–the energy radiating from our physical bodies–commingle during any kind of hands-on exchange (this would also be true for hair stylists, aestheticians, occupational and physical therapists, nurses, doctors, care providers and others who have to touch their clients or patients).
“It can be a problem,” she admitted. “It’s definitely draining to work on some people, and not because of the physical effort involved.”
Three Reasons Why People Become Energy Vampires
There can be several reasons why some people suck the energy right out of you, even without intending to do so. The first is because they are operating at a low level of consciousness. Anyone whose life view includes a lot of disappointment, fear, tragedy, hopelessness or misery has energy that is vibrating at a very low level. In Dr. David Hawkins book, “Power Versus Force,” he includes a Map of Consciousness suggesting that any of these log in vibrationally log under 125, far from the 400-500 level of reason and love. Low level emotions are dense and heavy, and are easy to feel. https://www.amazon.com/Power-Force-David-Hawkins-Ph-D/dp/1401945074/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1488143507&sr=8-2&keywords=dr.+david+hawkins
The second reason is because energy vampires have hard-wired their brains to the negative. In previous blogs, I talked about the fact that we each think about 50,000 thoughts a day, and that 90% are a rehash of what we thought yesterday. Over time, as researchers say, “neurons that fire together wire together,” so those who expose themselves to a constant barrage of negative news are likely to develop thought habits and ways of operating in the world that are angry and defensive. What is uncomfortable for most is comfortable for them, so they are constantly looking for the next negative social media post or reason to complain to stay at the familiar low level.
The third reason is because they may never have experienced compassion, love or even kindness. If daily life is a question of survival–whether or not that threat is actual or perceived–the notion of opening your heart or even seeing yourself as worthy of love may be hiding so deep in your consciousness that it’s not accessible.
Three Fullistic® Ways to Transform Energy Vampires
Fullistically, there are three simple ways to transform energy vampires
Affirm that for the time they are with you, all is well. Say this aloud so you can hear it, feel it, and know the safety and strength of it. Do it before they show up. When they arrive, verbally acknowledge that while they may have been having a difficult day or week (or longer), for the time you are together, you’re going to set trouble aside so their wellbeing can emerge. If they begin talking about negative things, remind them that you both made the decision to set those concerns aside temporarily. By doing this, you not only help them stop the tidal wave of negative energy that’s keeping what they don’t want in their lives; you’re also bringing their higher self to the surface, which is better for both of you. You’re also flowing energy into what they do want, which will help bring it to their experience. Talking about problems only creates bigger problems; making someone feel safe and secure with you is the fastest way to get them back to a more neutral or positive energy state which makes solutions and resources appear that were energetically blocked from arriving.
Determine the reason why you’re together. If the people in our lives reflect our own energy states, even energy vampires have something to teach us. What do you think this person should do or be like? Does this reflect anything you need to consider for yourself? For instance, you may think this person should be more forgiving. Do you need to forgive someone, or perhaps forgive yourself? Even if you can find no negative in yourself that is similar, perhaps you attracted this person or circumstance because you wanted to experience unconditional love or compassion, and he or she is an opportunity for you to do so. Here is a meditation on giving and receiving love that might help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2iCoEluq8A
Stay alert, open and non-reactive. I once went to a small charity dinner where it was clear that everyone in the room was avoiding one particular man. I decided to sit next to him to figure out why. He spent the entire evening talking about himself. I didn’t take any of his negative bait–just allowed and encouraged him to talk about whatever he wanted, regardless of my opinion of it. After three hours, he was completely relaxed–a totally different person than when he came in. He said, “Oh my! I realize I have been talking about myself for hours–please do tell me about you.” I smiled and simply said, “There’s not much to say.” He was calm and quiet when he and his wife left, and she thanked me for my gift of presence to him.
One Last Thought
If you’re frightfully busy and unable to try any of the ideas above, remember that you can always pick up your copy of Feathers before you interact with an energy vampire and ask, “What feather will help me lighten up right now?” In under 50 seconds, you’ll be in a higher state of being that will serve both of you.
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